The king of the jungle…

We’ve done a survey studying that most office workers and employees have many similarities to the wildlife kingdom. More often than not many of us feel like a caged animal with no where to go, or a wild beast unleashing its terror and frustration on smaller, weaker animals.  We at SHITS.biz have compiled a list of animals and their comparative nature to demonstrate the true relationship between humans and species. To our surprise there is more in common than we really know.

You’re the Dog:
Not to belittle dogs in anyway shape or form, but dogs come in all shapes, sizes, intelligence and demeanor’s. Employees relating to dogs are people who go through their daily lives with simplicity, loyalty, willingness and eagerness to please. This is a worker in any field who chase their tails everyday and enjoying every moment of  it,  where they’ve found delight in their daily routine. They are here to please their manager or supervisor, they’re sometimes considered as manager pets or “ass licker” in more blunt terms. Like a master throwing a bone, they’ll chase down any request and report it back promptly and wait dearly, tongue waving; for their next command. As with all dogs, they have to be fed; workers have to be paid. If you want to avoid your pets turning against you remember a loyal dog needs a loyal master. Screw over a dog too much and they’ll start looking for a new master.

You’re the Parrot:
The parrot, highly intelligent, beautifully colored animals of flight. These birds have such personality anyone would love and they often express themselves freely without question. Is it any wonder why a caged parrot and any employee in the media and arts field would be related? Absolutely not… An artist such as a graphic designer, the marketing specialist, film maker etc..etc… is a prime example of the caged parrot. Eager to impress, eager to entertain only to be held back by a metal cage we refer to in the corporate world as the manager or producer. Parrots also live up to 100 years, this is in direct correlation to a true artists striving for his or her work to be timeless… If you are a worker, in need of self expression and creative freedom who is ready to take flight only to have their wings clipped by a producer’s budget or a manager’s unimaginative ego then you are definitely along the lines of these graceful and charismatic creatures.

You’re the Penguin:
So whats a penguin type personality in the work place you say??? Well first off I dunno about you but all penguins look alike wearing their trademark outfit, very similar to the managers and supervisors in a stale corporate environment. Have you ever noticed almost every company their similarities in style? It’s either a  black or dark blue suit and tie; they also have a similarity in their posture… both penguins and managers tend to walk as if there was a stiff object lodged in their rectum. To give them some credit they are very diligent in what they do… Their sole purpose is to please the person above them in the company. They have no actual real talent and they compensate by taking out their frustration on everyone below them or getting ahead at the expense of others. I mean lets face it penguins are birds that can’t fly.

You’re the Shark:
You’ve come this far up the corporate ladder… the money is so good it’s transformed you into a ruthless tyrant and hunter. You don’t give a damn about anything except your own personal satisfaction. Most CEO types are considered to be sharks… Actually I think even some sharks have more compassion than today’s CEO’s…  They’re smooth and always on alert for the smell of blood. Sharks attack human flesh and they don’t even enjoy the taste of it… Similarly a CEO will take everything away from a victim and they won’t even know the reason why… The only difference between a shark and CEO is that a shark hunts for their need to survive, a CEO will take because greed is their means of survival.

You’re the Ant:
The rarest breed of corporate species…the ant. If you ever find a corporation with workers and leaders of the ant colony please let us at SHITS.biz know… The ant is headed by the queen ant, who can manage literally millions of workers without flaw. This corporations goal is to succeed and with it the ant colony will be successful. Their leader or queen ant is held with the utmost respect and in return she will take her millions of workers to the promised land. SHITS.biz has never heard of any president or manager with the ability to manage and micromanage their employees to such a degree. 99.9% of managers,  presidents of corporations can’t even handle a team of 10 employees without blunder. The queen ant puts her ego aside for the good of the common goal… how many presidents and managers can you say have the ability to do likewise…. didn’t think so…

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